


Bad Idea: Jason as a Mall Santa

by elwon



Series: JayDick Flash Fic [24]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alfred is a saint, Crossdressing, Dick as Mrs Claus, Jason as a Mall Santa, Kissing, M/M, damian's crusade against santa, jaydick flash-fic: bad idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21781057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elwon/pseuds/elwon
Summary: Five times Jason is a Santa at the mall, with Dick as his Mrs Claus, whether Jason likes it or not. And one time he isn’t.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Jason Todd/Dick Grayson
Series: JayDick Flash Fic [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1270460
Comments: 14
Kudos: 234
Collections: Jaydick Flash Fanwork Challenge





	Bad Idea: Jason as a Mall Santa

1)

Jason’s only been working a Santa at the mall for one full day, and he hates it with every fibre of his being. It’s by turns, too loud and too quiet, too hot and too cold, too many people constantly swirling around him with their snot-nosed kids, and not enough people around to justify dressing up in a thick padded suit and full beard.

When his afternoon/evening shift is finally over he walks into the backroom of Santa’s Grotto, stripping out of the suit and punching out of the time clock, only to be greeted by the sight of Dick Grayson talking to his manager. Something ugly twists in Jason’s stomach, but he pulls on a bland smile when Susan waves him over.

“Jay, this is Dick Grayson, I’m sure you’ve heard of him?” Susan says with the kind of zeal in her eyes that Jason usually associates with Harley Quinn or Kardashian fans.

“Yeah... Sure.” Jason keeps the bland smile up and doesn’t offer his hand for Dick to shake.

“Well! Mr Grayson here has kindly offered to fill in our last cast position. He’s going to be your Mrs Claus!” Susan throws her hands up into the air in excitement. Jason’s glad at least one of them is getting so much out of this. He’s certainly not.

“Uh...” Jason flicks his gaze to Dick’s clearly flat chest, and skinny hips. “ _Mrs_ Claus? Are you sure...”

“I’m fundraising for the Wayne Enterprises Youth Division.” Dick says, keeping up the good-natured Richie Grayson-Wayne persona. “We’re doing a drive for the LGBTQIA+ youth, and well, why not be Mrs Claus?”

“Right?!” Susan gushes, stars in her eyes as Dick smiles at them both.

“Anything for a good cause, huh?” Jason says, barely managing to rein in his anger. Because of course the Golden Boy is fundraising publicly, and he’d pick _Jason’s_ grotto just to mess up what he’s got going here. Jason was flying under the radar here, and now there’s going to be press attention. Fucking _fabulous_!

“Absolutely.” Dick sends Jason the kind of easy smile that Jason’s never really seen directed his way before. It’s weird and makes him feel the opposite of what Dick probably intended, to relax Jason and soothe the tension. Instead, Jason feels ramped up and irritated.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to get better acquainted. See you tomorrow!” Susan grins. “It’s going to be such fun working with you, Mr Grayson.”

“It really will, Susan.” Dick nods at her as she almost runs away.

“What the actual fuck, Dick?” Jason hisses as soon as Susan’s out of ear shot. He grips the Santa jacket and pulls it off roughly, hanging it on the peg with more force than the jacket can probably take.

“I’m here to help you, Jay.” Dick tries to use his ‘calm Jason down’ voice, and fuck if that doesn’t just irritate Jason more. He’s not a feral animal that needs calming down or taming!

“It’s a Christmas miracle!” Jason says, sarcasm dripping from every word as he pushes the Santa pants down his thighs. He’s still got the boots on, however, so he glares at them, before bending over to tug them off and free himself from the pants. “Oh no, wait, it _isn’t_! I don’t need any help.”

“Stakeouts are easier with two! You know that.” Dick insists, reaching out to grab Jason’s flailing arm and steady him. Jason yanks it out of his loose grip, and huffs. “And besides, I thought it would be nice to spend time together for once.”

“You...” Jason trails off, shaking his head incredulously, setting down the boots and pants in his locker. “You actually think that.”

“Yes, of course.” Dick stares at him unblinking, and cocks his head to the side in a very birdlike manner while Jason removes his street clothes from the locker. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“You think barging into my Mall Santa gig is going to be quality bonding time? Seriously?” Jason pulls on his jeans and sits down on the small bench to pull on his boots and stare up at Dick.

“Give me a chance, please, Jason?” Dick sighs, hurt clear in his eyes. “One day, and if it’s not working out I’ll quit.”

“This is a _bad idea_. I mean the literal worst idea.” Jason mutters as he pulls on his leather jacket and stands up, ready to leave.

“That’s not a ‘no’...” Dick says hesitantly, biting his lip. Hope gleams in his eyes as he looks at Jason.

“We’re both going to live to regret this.” Jason sighs in defeat. “I know I am already.”

“Yes! Thank you, Jason, I’m not going to let you down.” Dick smiles widely, his eyes lighting up as if Jason’s just given him the best present ever.

“...Such a bad idea, holy shit.” Jason mutters, trying to ignore the flutter of his heart at that blindingly happy smile from Dick.

“Are you kidding? This is going to be great!” Dick slaps Jason on the shoulder. “Red Hood and Nightwing on the case! Jason and Dick undercover together! This is going to be legendary.”

“Legendary. Riiight.” Jason runs a hand over his tired face. “Do you even know what case you _think_ you’re barging in on?”

“Um. Actually, no.” Dick admits sheepishly. “No, don’t tell me! I want to use my detective skills and figure it out myself!”

“A bad fucking idea.” Jason groans, too tired to argue.

2)

Working the late afternoon/early evening shift means that after a long night of patrolling, Jason has time to get some real sleep before rolling out of bed at two in the afternoon and heading off to the mall after a shower and ‘breakfast’. It’s a pretty good deal, all things considered, Jason thinks.

He abruptly changes his mind when he walks into the barely more than two person locker room to change into his Santa costume, only to be confronted by Dick dragging his own shirt off his shoulders. Despite himself, Jason’s gaze drops down to the painted on skinny jeans that are both impractical and cold in this kind of winter weather. He lets his eyes linger on that famous and infamous booty for a bare second before forcing himself to look away. He turns to his locker without greeting Dick and starts getting changed himself.

“Oh Jay, good, you’re here.” Dick says loudly in the small space. “Can you zip me up? This top is awkward.”

“I thought you had rubber bones. You should be able to do it you-yikes...” Jason cuts off as he turns around and catches sight of Dick’s costume.

“Yikes?” Dick chuckles, apparently not in the least bit embarrassed by his outfit. “I’m guessing this dress is exactly as revealing as I thought it was?”

“Uh, _yeah_?” Jason says numbly. “If you bend over I can probably see right up your... uh.”

“My uh, huh?” Dick snorts indelicately. “I get the feeling you weren’t about to say skirt.”

“I totally wasn’t.” Jason nods, forcing himself to take the three steps across the room to reach out and drag the zip up between Dick’s shoulder blades. “But with how tight that skirt is, I don’t think I could see up it anyway.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not that tight or short, Jay.” Dick says, grin clear in his voice.

“One look in the mirror will tell you different, Dickie.” Jason rolls his eyes, stepping back to pull on the rest of his thick Santa suit. With all the accessories and the beard, Jason pretty much as full skin coverage, unlike Dick’s skin-tight red mini-dress.

“Why Hubby, are you jealous?” Dick turns to looks at Jason, his long sequinned sleeves catch the light as he moves; the deep V of his neckline is lined in white fake fur, the wrists and hem of his skirt are as well. His high heeled shoes match his sleeves, and his thigh high stockings are, of course, green.

“Jealous? Hubby? What the fuck, Richard?” Jason sputters, doing up his own red jacket and pulling on his white gloves.

Dick sets a Santa hat on his own head, and grins at Jason. “Mr and Mrs Claus!” He says gesturing at Jason and them himself.

“Right... Yeah.” Jason grabs his own hat and his beard. “I guess Old Saint Nick swapped out the first Mrs Claus for the younger, sluttier model. What a cad.”

“I could take offence at that, but I’ll have you know that _this_ Mary Christmas is the first Mrs Claus. She’s just hot and immortal, thank you very much.” Dick says, looking down his nose at Jason as he walks out of the locker room. It’d have been more impressive if Dick hadn’t had to tilt his head right back to do it.

“Damn. Well, I guess in that case, Nick’s definitely aiming up.” Jason banters back before he can stop himself. At least he manages to keep his “Lucky bastard” under his breath, and Dick doesn’t hear it.

Stepping out in the Grotto is both tension inducing and weirdly relaxing for Jason. He walks over to his high backed plush chair, slouching into it before tugging on his beard and hat. The bench beside it for the kids to sit on has a fresh blanket covering it, ready for the next session. Jason’s glad it doesn’t smell of puke anymore after yesterday. At least with the kids not sitting in his lap he didn’t get any on him. 

His gaze keeps slipping to Dick puttering around at the front of the Grotto, ready to let the kids and their parents in. Dick bends over, and Jason has to bite his lip to stop himself from saying, well, anything. He really can see up Dick’s skirt to the green lacy panties (because when Dick commits to a role, he _commits_. Hard) and even from all the way across the Grotto, Jason can tell that he’s tucked. Because of course he fucking did! Jason wants to die; he can feel his cheeks heating up underneath his scratchy beard and for the first time since he put this suit on, he’s really glad about how padded it is. At least no one can see how Dick being bent over right in front of him is affecting him.

Jason breathes out slowly, trying to control his rapid heartbeat. He reminds himself that in mere moments the Grotto will reopen after the lunchtime closure, and he’ll have to deal with kids. It’s a pretty good way of cooling off. Or it is right up until the moment Dick bends over again, and Jason’s eyes are glued to that taut backside right in front of him. Dick looks over his shoulder at him and the fucker _winks_ at Jason.

“Are you ready for the boys and girls and gender-neutral children, Hubby?” Dick calls out, standing up straight, sending a wicked smirk in Jason’s direction. Jason’s gonna _destroy_ him.

3)

Giving the presents out is harder work than it looks. Jason has to at the very least pretend to be listening to the rambling of young children, the sullen monotone answers of the kids who think they’re too old to be visiting a mall Santa, and then there’s the kids who can’t talk because they’re too nervous or scared. Jason finds them the hardest to deal with. He keeps catching himself slipping into his ‘soothing underage victims’ tone. The worst part is that it usually helps.

The set up of the Grotto is that the parents pay one of the elves a small fee on entering, choosing a pre-wrapped present from a menu of six different toys for Jason to give their little bundle of joy. While Dick escorts the kids up to Jason’s seat, an elf brings him a present to pass to them once they’ve stopped talking. To the mall’s credit, it’s pretty much a well oiled machine of an operation. Unfortunately, it does mean that Jason has nothing to do but sit there, nod, and look old and kindly, and the beard and padding does at least two thirds of that job.

There’s a lull period between the time when the little ones are taken home and the slightly older kids get out of school. It’s not a long lull, but it gives Dick more than enough time to flit around the Grotto, fiddling with the decorations. He’s putting up a lot of mistletoe, and Jason has the sneaking suspicion, bugs. 

Bugs for his _stakeout_ , because why would Dick ask Jason what he might need, when he could just put a disturbing amount of surveillance microphones and cameras instead? When Jason gets up to stretch his legs, he checks out the new ‘decorations’ that Dick’s left all over. It takes a few minutes to remove half of them – Jason would’ve removed all of them, but he’s sure if he did, Dick would replace them all by tomorrow. Leaving half, he can have a little control of the situation. And if Dick complains, Jason has a valid concern about discovery, and of course the idea of one of the soccer moms screeching about her precious kid’s privacy being violated.

Jason’s feeling pretty good about the whole situation he’s found himself in. Dick’s still bending over in front of him and smirking a lot, but he’s toned it down to only when they’re alone. It’s both a relief, and oddly, a little sad. 

Two days later, in that same lull time, Dick comes over and sits on the bench next to Jason, crossing his legs to avoid flashing any unsuspecting passerby who might happen to look in to the Grotto. It also has the side benefit of showing off Dick’s garters to Jason. There’s a subtle ‘J’ design on them.

“Oh wow, this is a comfy place to sit.” Dick says, bouncing a little next to Jason, the motion making his skirt ride up even higher. “No wonder you’re happy sitting here for hours on end!”

“I’m being paid to do exactly that. Why wouldn’t I be happy?” Jason huffs, staring out at the grotto to avoid looking at the bare skin of Dick’s inner thighs. They’re completely hairless... Something Jason didn’t even know he wanted to know.

“Because sitting in one place is torture?” Dick says, cocking his head at him in confusion.

“I’m not you, birdbrain.” Jason sighs. “I don’t need to be in constant motion.”

“Awww, don’t be mean, Hubby! What if a kid hears?” Dick grins, leaning in to Jason’s arm and staring up at him with fake adoration. It makes something hot and ugly pop in Jason’s chest. Dick would never look at him like that for real.

“This is Gotham, Dick.” Jason snarls, trying not to lose his temper. He manages to swallow down some of the vitriol to continue. “Chances are he’s heard his dad call his mom something worse.” 

“Jay...” Dick looks up at him, a soft and sad expression on his face. “That’s a little cynical, don’t you think? Where’s your festive season spirit?”

“It got beaten up, mauled and dragged off to the docks to be covered in concrete to be dropped in Gotham Bay.” Jason says dryly. “It was a real Christmas tragedy.”

“Sounds like you need a miracle instead.” Dick says, lips quirking like he’s trying not to laugh at Jason’s comment.

“Nah, I’m good. I mean, I’ve got to see you crossdress in public. Who needs miracles when you’ve got an entirely sober Dick Grayson with his ass hanging out in front of a bunch of kids?” Jason sends Dick a sidelong grin. “That’s priceless, and it warms the cockles of my cold, shrivelled, black heart.”

“You know, Jay, that almost sounds like you think me working here wasn’t such a bad idea after all.” Dick raises an eyebrow at him.

“Nope, still a bad idea.” Jason grins wider. “You’re going to be so many kids' gay awakening.”

“Yeah, well, if they could see what you liked like under that padding, you’d definitely awaken a few more.” Dick snorts indelicately.

4)

It’s two weeks to Christmas and the Grotto has gone from busy with quiet periods, to damn near manic with precisely one quiet period per session. Jason barely has time to think with all the nodding and passing out of presents. The upside is that he has almost no time to stare at Dick or his behind, or even the clearly visible abs through his dress. (Jason sort of wishes Dick had gone the full drag route and worn falsies too... But he’s smart enough to keep it to himself, and not even joke about it.)

Jason’s not sure why he’s surprised to see that Alfred’s brought Damian to the Grotto. Damian looks entirely displeased to be there, and not even a hug from Dick raises his spirits.

“This entire debacle is a travesty, and I wish to leave, Pennyworth.” Damian says in his most pompous tone possible. 

“Your father wishes you to have a ‘proper American Christmas’ experience, Master Damian. Please do try to bear with it.” Alfred says with more patience than Jason would manage in his situation.

“Come on, Little D! It could be fun.” Dick smiles at Damian, ignoring his obvious discomfort. “You get to tell Santa what you want for Christmas, and then you get a little something to tide you over until the 25th!”

“Why would I wish to tell _Santa_ anything?” Damian says with disdain. “A grown man who sneaks into children’s bedrooms in the dead of night to leave them ‘presents’ is not someone I want to speak with.”

“Stop making my husband sound perverted, Damian.” Dick says far too cheerfully. “Santa is a good man.”

“Husband!” Damian hisses. “I was not informed of your nuptials, Grayson. Without my presence they are _invalid_!”

“I’m playing the role of Mary Christmas, and she’s married to Santa Claus, hence husband.” Dick says, somehow managing to not roll his eyes.

“Oh. So it’s not a real marriage then.” Damian sniffs haughtily. “That’s fine then. Ridiculous and frivolous, but I hardly care.”

“Then come and meet Santa, and tell him what you want for Christmas.” Dick says, putting a guiding hand on Damian’s shoulder and all but dragging him over to Jason. “Another one for you, Hubby!”

“Thank you, Dear.” Jason says, barely able to keep his tone from being drier than the desert as Damian sits on the bench grumpily. “Afternoon, Damian.”

“I know what you are!” Damian leans forward and hisses. “Your tyranny will not continue unabated! I will bring you down.”

“...Brat, stop embarrassing yourself.” Jason says quietly, shaking his head at Damian.

“I am not!” Damian hisses back, looking for all the world like a cat with his fur rubbed the wrong way.

“Damian.” Jason glances around to check no one is looking, and then pulls his beard from his face. “I refuse to believe that a shitty fake beard threw you off.”

“Todd! I knew you were behind this!” Damian snarls. “How long have you been practising this masquerade?”

“About three weeks? I can’t believe Dick didn’t tell you I’m the mall Santa.” Jason says, scratching at his chin under the beard.

“The mall... Santa.” Damian repeats slowly, confused.

“Oh god. Why do I have to be the one to tell you?” Jason groans, closing his eyes for a second. “People get paid to dress up as Santa and give out presents at the mall. It’s a tradition.”

“Oh.” Damian says quietly. “So, the real tyrant isn’t here?”

“...Of course that’s the part you’re focusing on. No, the real Santa isn’t here.” Jason sighs, wondering why _this_ is his life. “I’m gonna do you a real solid here, kid. No one will ever know we had this conversation. Merry fucking Christmas.”

“Yes... That would be preferable.” Damian nods, looking around the Grotto for Dick. He turns back to Jason and narrows his eyes at him. “Has Grayson been calling you his spouse since he started working here?”

“Yes?” Jason says hesitantly, frowning at why Damian asked him that of all things.

“You poor miserable bastard.” Damian says with surprising sympathy. “As if you’re not being tortured enough simply working here.”

“I know, right?” Jason huffs, and then panics a little, because Damian cannot know about Jason’s feelings. “I mean, what?”

“Todd, please. Don’t do us both the disservice of pretending you don’t know what I mean.” Damian arches an eyebrow at him.

“Right.” Jason swallows nervously. “If I give you your present, will you go away and never mention this again?”

“Yes.” Damian nods. “I agree to that deal.” 

“Great! Here!” Jason grabs the present, wrapped in paper that’s not the usual the Grotto uses. Alfred must have brought something to give to Damian to head off complaints about quality and desirability. “Now kindly fuck off, young man.”

“Sleep in heavenly peace, Todd.” Damian intones solemnly, holding on to his present. He gives Dick a scowl as he passes by him to join Alfred again.

“I can’t believe you two didn’t maim each other.” Dick grins, slipping onto the bench and grinning at Jason. “It’s an actual Christmas miracle, Hubby!”

5)

The Grotto closes its doors at 9pm on Christmas Eve. Jason can’t remember the last time he was this tired, and the elation that he’ll never have to do this again is buried under the exhaustion. Jason can’t even summon up the energy to make a deed on their feet joke. Even Dick isn’t his usual perky self. In fact, he’s decidedly droopy.

They trudge into the tiny locker room, getting changed silently. Jason hangs up his costume with a finality that tastes like freedom. He pulls on his own clothes and slips out of the locker room, and takes a deep breath of relief when he punches his card out for the very last time. Seconds later he hears Dick do the same and he twists to look at Dick’s tired face. Dick at least summons up a small smile, and bumps his shoulder as they start walking to the parking lot.

“Guess I’ve got no excuse to call you Hubby and watch you twitch at it, anymore, huh?” Dick says with a tired chuckle.

“I did not twitch.” Jason huffs. “That was a full body shudder of repulsion, fuck you very much!”

“Ouch, Jay. You know where to hit a guy when he’s feeling low.” Dick shakes his head, and while he smiles, it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Like maybe Jason’s comment really had struck a nerve.

“Yanno, it’s not so much that you called me that?” Jason pauses and chews on his lower lip as he debates how much to tell Dick. “It’s more that... You’d never call me that for real, right? It felt way more fake than I like.”

“Oh.” Dick makes a considering noise. “I can understand that.”

“Yeah.” Jason shuffles forward, feeling exposed.

“But I would.” Dick suddenly says. “Call you that for real, I mean. If we ever got married.”

“Uh. You’d marry me?” Jason blurts out, without meaning to. “I didn’t think you’d even want to date me, let alone like, actual commitment.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Dick blinks at him, confused.

“Uh... Lots of reasons? I’m me, you’re you, for one.” Jason gestures, his arms moving wildly between the two of them. “The whole family-not-family thing, for another.”

“I think all of those are work around-able, personally.” Dick shrugs, unconcerned. “If you wanted to, that is. I can’t really tell with you. I’ve been sending you signals since I started working here, and you never really responded? I mean, you did on my first day, but after that? You’re hard to read, Jay.”

“Fuck, I thought you were just teasing me, not that you were actually interested!” Jason groans, tipping his head back.

“Oh.” Dick bites his lip to stop himself from grinning.

“Yeah.” Jason sighs, looking over at Dick’s bright blue eyes. “So... You want to go out on a date sometime, or something?”

“Smooth, Jay. But yes, I really would.” Dick beams at him, his entire face lighting up with pleasure.

“Cool, cool, cool.” Jason rolls his shoulders trying to act casual, but inside he’s doing flips like Robin.

“I forgot to ask, did you get everything you needed on your stakeout.” Dick looks sheepish. “I never did work out exactly who you were surveilling. Too many options in the end.”

“I... Wasn’t.” Jason admits, rubbing at the back of his head. He’s too happy to be embarrassed right now.

“What?” Dick pauses, staring at Jason in confusion.

“One of my guys was supposed to be Santa, but his little girl’s sick, so I offered to cover while they went to visit her grandparents. He’s gonna get all my pay when he comes back.” Jason shrugs.

“Oh my god.” Dick stares at Jason.

“Uh yeah.” Jason ducks his head.

“That’s really sweet of you.” Dick says, leaning into Jason’s side.

“I guess? Not really. He’s a good guy, and I owed him.” Jason shrugs, letting his arm slip over Dick’s shoulders.

“Right.” Dick looks up at him. “So, does this mean you’re not mad that I took down the drug ring working out of the Big Belly Burger?”

“Of course that was you.” Jason grins and shakes his head. “No. It was probably you that took down the guys selling the stolen goods out of the electrical store, too?”

“Yeah. And the massage parlour that was a front for Mob casino, as well.” Dick chuckles.

“Damn, you were busy while I was sitting on my ass, huh?” Jason grins.

“Well, you know what they say, Jay. Behind every successful man is his wife.” Dick grins back.

+1)

There’s something about kissing Dick that short circuits most of Jason’s upper brain functions in favour of simply feeling the way Dick leans his body into him, the warmth of his skin, the way his hands inevitably end up in Jason’s hair, tugging him down the few significant inches between them, and the way he pushes up to meet Jason’s lips. It’s intoxicating, and Jason can’t get enough. But even so, there’s a small niggle of doubt in the back of his mind, that won’t go away despite the kissing.

“Are you sure this isn’t a bad idea?” Jason says, pulling out of the kiss, wincing when he realises just what he’s said. They’ve finally managed to carve a few hours out of their busy schedules for their date, watching movies at Dick’s apartment in their pyjamas.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Dick says with a soft smile, leaning into Jason’s side as they make out on the couch and completely ignore whatever terrible action movie Dick’s put on. “It’s a great idea, Jay.”

“Hmm.” Jason hums, letting his thumb rub circles into Dick’s shoulder as he resists inhaling a lungful of the smell of Dick’s shampoo. It’s something minty with a stringent tang that Jason can’t immediately place.

“You aren’t sure?” Dick tilts his head up to look at Jason, a flicker of something in his eyes that Jason refuses to name, and hates the thought of. (It’s fear and regret, and it looks so wrong on Dick that Jason can’t deal with it.)

“It’s not that. I just don’t get what you see in me.” Jason says, trying not to squirm in his seat, if only because Dick would feel it. And also he doesn’t want to let on to Dick how uncomfortable he is telling Dick that.

“You’re dedicated, caring, clever, passionate, great with kids.” Dick says, looking at Jason intently, as if the seriousness of his gaze will give his words extra weight. “And you’re tall, hot, and can bench press me. Of course I like what I see.”

“Wow, don’t hold back, Dickie, tell me what you really think.” Jason says, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment.

“In that case, I will.” Dick says with a mischievous grin, sitting up to prepare for what is no doubt a speech that’ll make Jason squirm.

“No, wait! Don’t! If you’re about to say something sappy or mushy, or I don’t know...” Jason says, bracing himself for more emotional honesty than their new emerging relationship is ready for.

“I really want to sit in your lap, and tell you what I want for Christmas. I have since I first saw you at the mall.” Dick says with a decisive nod. 

Jason stares at him blankly in disbelief. That was not what he was expecting. “Uh... I’m not even dressed as Santa?”

“Red sweatpants and a white t-shirt are good enough for me.” Dick winks, leering at Jason’s thighs while his hand traces up and down Jason’s bicep.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not going to let this go until I give in?” Jason stares up at the ceiling, trying and failing to not picture Dick sitting astride his lap, giving him the exact look he’s giving him now.

“Because you know me so well?” Dick grins, leaning over both of Jason’s legs with one arm, ready to crawl into his lap.

“Yeah, that’s probably it.” Jason sighs, in resignation. Or he would except he really wants Dick there. “ _Fine_. Come on then, sit in my lap and tell me.”

“I thought you’d never ask, Hubby!” Dick laughs in delight, crawling over the couch to swing his right leg over Jason’s lap, settling on his thighs. This close Jason can see all the different shades that make up Dick’s pretty blue eyes.

“I am _not_ doing the spiel, just so you know.” Jason mutters as Dick shuffles closer, and Jason’s hands land on Dick’s hips like they belong there.

“Fine.” Dick pouts for a moment before a smile spreads across his face. “I’ve been a very good boy this year.”

Jason snorts loudly. “Really? _I_ think you’ve been very naughty.”

“I broke up countless gangs and saved people!” Dick protests until he sees Jason’s smirk, and feels Jason’s hands slip downwards from his hip to his ass. “What do I get if I’ve been naughty?”

“A well deserved spanking.” Jason grins, squeezing the muscle under his hands and watching Dick’s eyes flutter shut in pleasure.

“Oh my! You’re a bad Santa, aren’t you?” Dick says, giving Jason a lazy, heavy lidded look that promises sex and pleasure, and everything Jason’s been dreaming about having with Dick since he was twelve, with Dick starring in his filthy fantasies.

“Only naughty boys get a bad Santa.” Jason pulls Dick in closer, and can’t keep the smile from his face when Dick wraps his arms around Jason’s shoulders, settling in comfortably. 

“That’s ok, Hubby. All I want for Christmas is _you_ , anyway.” Dick whispers, leaning in for a kiss that leaves Jason breathless, and Dick faintly trembling in his arms. 

“All _I_ want for Christmas is you in that Mrs Claus dress.” Jason says, making Dick laugh in delight.

“I did actually keep it.” Dick winks shamelessly. “Should I go put it on?”

“ _Fuck yes_ ” Jason says fervently. “And then you’ll get your well deserved spanking...”

“First the spanking, and then the oral sex!” Dick quotes, giggling as he slides off Jason’s lap.

“How did you know I was planning on rimming you after?” Jason calls out, looking over the back of the couch at Dick’s retreating form.

Dick slips over at that, turning to look at him wide eyed and wanting. “Not a bad idea, _the best ever_!”


End file.
